24th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Sirach 27:30–28:7; Romans 14:7–9; Matthew 18:21–35

The Language of Forgiveness

There is one word that is very easy to pronounce but sometimes very difficult to practice: “Forgiveness.”

We can say, “I forgive you,” but when we remember what happened, the wound becomes fresh again. We may forgive with our lips, but our hearts continue to carry anger, resentment, and pain.

Today Jesus teaches us one of the most difficult—and most beautiful—lessons of Christian life: we must learn the language of forgiveness.

Let me begin with a powerful story.

The Forgiveness of Gladys Staines

Graham Staines was an Australian missionary who devoted his life to serving people suffering from leprosy in Orissa, India. On January 23, 1999, Graham Staines and his two young sons, Philip and Timothy, were brutally burned alive in their jeep by a group of Hindu fundamentalists led by Dara Singh.

It was a terrible tragedy. A husband was killed. Two young children were killed. A family was shattered.

But what happened afterward touched the conscience of the nation.

Mrs. Gladys Staines, the wife and mother who had lost everything, did not respond with hatred or revenge. She prayed that Jesus would forgive the murderers. She expressed the hope that Christ would touch their hearts so that they would never again do such a terrible thing to another family.

Think about that for a moment.

Hatred said, “Take revenge.”
Faith said, “Forgive.”

The murderers had power over her family’s life, but they did not have power over her heart.

That is the victory of forgiveness.

The tragedy showed us the ugliness of hatred; her forgiveness showed us the beauty of Christ.

“How Often Must I Forgive?”

This is exactly where today’s Gospel begins.

Peter approaches Jesus and asks:

“Lord, if another member of the Church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” (Mt 18:21)

Peter probably thought he was being generous.

The rabbis commonly taught that a person should forgive three times. Peter doubles that number and adds one: seven times.

Perhaps Peter was thinking, “Jesus will certainly be pleased with me!”

But Jesus answers:

“Not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Mt 18:22)

Jesus is not asking Peter to keep a notebook and count forgiveness: one, two, three, seventy-seven!

He is saying:

Do not put a limit on forgiveness.

Forgiveness must become a way of life.

Jesus is reversing the ancient spirit of revenge expressed in the words of Lamech:

“If Cain is avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy-sevenfold.” (Gen 4:24)

The world says, “You hurt me, I will hurt you.”

Jesus says, “You hurt me, but I will not allow hatred to control my heart.”

The world says, “Get even.”

Jesus says, “Forgive.”

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

Jesus then tells us the parable of a servant who owes his master an enormous debt.

He cannot repay it.

The master has compassion on him and cancels the entire debt.

Imagine receiving such mercy!

But this same servant goes out and finds another servant who owes him a much smaller amount. Instead of showing mercy, he grabs him and demands payment.

The master becomes angry and says:

“Should you not have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” (Mt 18:33)

That question is addressed to every one of us.

“As I had mercy on you.”

That is the foundation of Christian forgiveness.

We do not forgive because the other person deserves it.

We forgive because God has forgiven us.

We are forgiven people called to become forgiving people.

How Much Has God Forgiven Us?

Sometimes we find it very difficult to forgive one person who hurt us.

But let us stop for a moment and ask:

How many times has God forgiven me?

How many times have I failed?

How many times have I spoken words I should not have spoken?

How many times have I judged others?

How many times have I neglected to pray?

How many times have I promised God, “I will change,” and then fallen into the same weakness again?

And yet we come back to God.

We say, “Lord, have mercy.”

And God does not say, “This is the tenth time. I am finished with you.”

He welcomes us.

He forgives us.

He gives us another chance.

That is why Jesus teaches us to pray:

“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Mt 6:12)

And Jesus makes the meaning very clear:

“If you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Mt 6:15)

These are challenging words.

Forgiveness Does Not Mean Saying That Evil Is Good

We must understand something important.

Forgiveness does not mean that what happened was right.

Forgiveness does not mean that we approve injustice.

Forgiveness does not mean that we allow someone to continue abusing or hurting us.

Justice still has its place. Boundaries may still be necessary. Protection may be necessary.

But forgiveness means:

“I will not allow the evil done to me to become evil within me.”

That is Christian forgiveness.

We can seek justice without seeking revenge.

We can protect ourselves without hating another person.

We can remember the wound without allowing the wound to control our entire life.

Forgiveness Begins at Home

Perhaps the most difficult place to practice forgiveness is not outside the home, but inside the home.

Husband and wife hurt one another.

Parents hurt children.

Children hurt parents.

Brothers and sisters carry old disagreements for years.

Sometimes people living under the same roof stop speaking to each other.

They eat at the same table but live in different emotional worlds.

One word spoken in anger can remain in the heart for twenty years.

Someone says:

“I will never forgive him.”

Another says:

“She must first come and apologize.”

And the family becomes divided.

Jesus asks us today:

How long will you carry that burden?

There is a beautiful saying:

“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

When we refuse to forgive, we think we are punishing the other person. But very often, we are hurting ourselves.

Resentment steals our peace.

Anger steals our joy.

Hatred occupies a space in our hearts that should belong to God.

Forgiveness does not change the past.

But forgiveness can change our future.

The First Reading: Sirach

The Book of Sirach says:

“Forgive your neighbor’s injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.” (Sir 28:2)

And it asks:

“Could anyone nourish anger against another and expect healing from the Lord?” (Sir 28:3)

What a powerful question!

We want God to forgive us, but sometimes we refuse to forgive someone else.

We say:

“Lord, forgive my sins.”

But God asks:

“What about the person you have refused to forgive?”

Sirach reminds us:

“Remember the covenant of the Most High, and overlook faults.” (Sir 28:7)

We must remember God’s mercy before we remember another person’s fault.

Forgiveness Is a Process

But perhaps someone is thinking:

“Father, you don’t know how deeply I have been hurt.”

That may be true.

Some wounds are very deep.

Forgiveness is not always instantaneous.

Sometimes we have to pray about it again and again.

Sometimes we have to say:

“Lord, I want to forgive, but I am not yet able to forgive completely. Give me the grace to want to forgive.”

That itself can be the beginning of healing.

We can place the person before Jesus in prayer.

We can say:

“Jesus, I cannot forgive this person by myself. You forgive through me.”

And slowly, God’s grace begins to work.

Jesus on the Cross: The Greatest Example

Look at Jesus on the cross.

He had been betrayed.

He had been falsely accused.

He had been beaten.

He had been mocked.

He had been crucified.

And from the cross Jesus prayed:

“Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” (Lk 23:34)

This is the heart of Christianity.

Jesus does not merely teach forgiveness.

Jesus lives forgiveness.

And He asks us to follow Him.

Romans: We Belong to the Lord

The second reading gives us another important foundation.

St. Paul says:

“We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord.” (Rom 14:7–8)

If I belong to Christ, then my anger also has to come under Christ.

My relationships belong to Christ.

My family belongs to Christ.

My wounded heart belongs to Christ.

Therefore, I cannot say:

“I will never forgive.”

Because my life does not belong entirely to me.

I belong to the Lord.

Three Questions for Today

As we come to the end of this reflection, let us ask ourselves three simple questions.

First: Who has hurt me whom I need to forgive?

Maybe it is my husband or wife.

Maybe a child.

Maybe a brother or sister.

Maybe a friend.

Maybe someone from many years ago.

Second: Whom have I hurt and need to ask forgiveness from?

It is easy to remember the sins of others.

It is much harder to recognize our own.

Perhaps today we need to say:

“I am sorry.”

Third: What is preventing me from forgiving?

Is it pride?

Anger?

Fear?

A desire for revenge?

The memory of the wound?

Let us place that obstacle before Jesus.

The Language of Forgiveness

My dear brothers and sisters,

Forgiveness is not weakness.

Forgiveness is strength.

Hatred can be easy.

Revenge can be easy.

But forgiveness requires courage.

Forgiveness breaks the cycle of hatred.

Forgiveness opens the door to healing.

Forgiveness restores relationships.

Forgiveness gives peace to the heart.

And forgiveness brings us closer to God.

Perhaps today Jesus is asking each of us to take one small step.

Make one phone call.

Send one message.

Say one “I am sorry.”

Say one “I forgive you.”

Begin one conversation.

Do not wait until tomorrow.

Life is short.

There may come a day when the person we are angry with is no longer there—and then we may wish we had forgiven.

Let us remember the witness of Gladys Staines.

She lost her husband.

She lost her two children.

She lost what was most precious to her.

Yet she refused to allow hatred to have the final word.

The final word was forgiveness.

And on the cross, Jesus showed us the same way.

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, let us not merely speak about forgiveness.

Let us live forgiveness.

Let us forgive as we have been forgiven.

Let us love as Christ has loved us.

Let us pray:

“Lord Jesus, you have forgiven me so many times. Give me the grace to forgive those who have hurt me. Heal my wounded heart. Remove my anger and bitterness. Give me courage to ask forgiveness where I have caused pain. And make my heart a place where your mercy can live.”

For in the end, forgiveness is not simply a word.

Forgiveness is the language of Christ.

And when we learn to speak that language,
our hearts are healed, our families are renewed, and the world becomes a little more like the Kingdom of God.